A Royal Drinking Game
Pinched from the Internet for the impending royal nuptials….
The only things required are something to drink and a jug that shall be known as “The Future Kings Cup” the use of this will become clear later, although I’m sure the more experienced amongst you will be aware of its purpose. The rules are as follows (they may ocassionally encounter something of a restructuring to make them more intelligble or generally better), although as it stands they are incomplete, which means I need your suggestions to make this the best damn day it can be…
1. If the Queen is on the screen you must be drinking. The woman has ruled the country for over 50 years, the least you can do is get destroyed in her honour.
2. Any time Prince Harry appears all players must produce a Nazi salute. The last player to do so must consume 5 fingers/mouthfuls for their poor reactions.
3. If Elton John is spotted the last person to shout “Candle in the Wind” must drink 5.
4. Any time time parallels are drawn to the Diana and Charles wedding (or any previous Royal Wedding for that matter), by commentators or otherwise, all players must consume 3 fingers/mouthfuls of their drink.
5.We’re British (or shall assume the role for the day), which means we’re a simple folk who enjoy comforts such as bacon and beer. With this in mind then, what better way to greet our anthem than with a hearty chug. As a result when the National Anthem is playing, everyone must be stood up and drinking. (Cheers to Will Sugg for inspiring this rule)
6. Prince Phillip has found a warm place in many of our hearts, his “Racist Grandad” appeal simply too hard too dislike. As a result, whenever he is shown independant of the Queen (to avoid complications with rule 1), the last player to shout “Bloody Foreigners” must drink 3 fingers. Penalties can be awarded for anyone who makes no attempt to imitate his accent.
7. Prime Ministers never tend to be popular, but our current one is hated even by those standards. So to allow you all to “stick it to da man” whenever our fearless leader David Cameron appears on screen, the first player to shout “C**t” is allowed to come up with a rule of their own. Enjoy your one chance at tyranny
The man she loves rejects her then leaves, and what does Eowyn do? She doesn’t cry into her Cherry Garcia, she gets up the next morning and armors up to FIGHT A WAR. Oh, but women aren’t allowed to fight, Theoden says. FUCK YOU THEODEN, I’M GOING TO PUT ON THIS HELMET AND KILL EVERYTHING THAT SUCKS. Namely, the fucking Witch King of the Nazgul, who NO MAN COULD KILL BUT NO PROBLEM BECAUSE I’M EOWYN AND I AM NO MAN SO I’M JUST GONNA STAB YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE NOW.
Sit down, Bella Swan.
AMEN
This is an amazingly empowering post, thank you.
Stab you in the face because you’re not very nice
I love the fact that Tolkein was really a feminist with such strong female characters
Fett’s Helmet // by Malc Foy
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